An Anal Sex Prenup, The Male Yeast Infection, & Help Her Orgasm!

melodiousmsm

Have a question for Ms. M.?  Email your questions to: AdviceFromMsM@gmail.com

______________________________________________________________________________________

Dear Ms. M.

My girlfriend has been going through a crazy round of yeast infections one after another.  More recently, one of my friends informed me we should be careful because she could transmit it to me.  Is it true that men can get yeast infections?

Sincerely,

Yeast Does Not Make It Rise

Dear YDNMIR,

Absolutely!  Most men think yeast infections are only a “female issue” and file them along with menstruation and childbirth.  While sexual transmission of genital yeast infections isn’t super common, it is possible.  Usually men and women with diabetes or compromised immune systems are more susceptible to yeast infections.  Prolonged use of antibiotics can also be a culprit. 

Heterosexual couples have been known to unknowingly pass genital yeast infections back and forth endlessly.  Men may not show any signs or symptoms, but when they do, some include irritation on the head of the penis, a rash, red blisters, discharge, and a horrible itch.  Luckily, they are as easily treatable in men as they are in women.

I would suggest both of you going in to get checked out so that if you do have one, you can both be treated at the same time.  It’s very important for you both to refrain from sexual activity until the infection has cleared up. 

If your girlfriend’s infection continues to return, she may want to consider other ideal alternatives in addition to what the doctor prescribes.  Be sure she avoids douching, baths, hot tubs, and swimming pools.  She’ll also want to consider dietary changes to optimize results: avoid starchy foods like wheat and corn, beer, and foods high in sugar.  In addition, many women swear by boric acid suppositories and daily use of probiotics (these help regulate the healthy bacteria that balance pH).

-Ms. M. 

______________________________________________________________________________________

Dear Ms. M.

My fiancee wants to make anal sex once a month a mandatory stipulation in our prenup.  We have been together for five years and don’t have anal sex regularly, much less even once a month.  I’m not sure why he suddenly wants this since everything else in the prenup is regarding our finances and was seemingly easy to agree upon.  I feel uncomfortable about it, but we’ve already invested a ton of time and money planning and preparing for the wedding.  Should I just give in?

-L.O.

Dear L.O.,

What a pain in the butt!  I’m no attorney, so I’m honestly not sure whether or not he can legally require anal sex in a prenuptial agreement.  That whole “in sickness and in health” is the first thing that comes to mind – what if you get colon cancer, God forbid! 

It’s likely he’s nervous over the commitment, and therefore being difficult.  Try having a calm rational conversation with him. Express how the stipulation makes you feel uncomfortable.  Remind him you don’t have anal sex once a month now.  ASSure him that making him happy and pleasing him is a top priority, but including it as part of your prenup makes you feel more like a piece of property, rather than the woman with whom he wishes to spend the rest of his life.  Make the point that requiring it “once a month” makes you feel like you have to schedule sex, and you would rather live in the excitement of passion and spontaneity rather than planning or scheduling sex.  Explain you understand a lifetime commitment to the same person can be scary, but the beautiful thing is that, as a team, you will work to please and serve each other.  If you can’t resolve this through rational conversation, I suggest you counter his stipulation with one of your own – perhaps you get to f*ck him in the ass with a strap on once a month. 

In addition, I just need to say this to all people who consider prenuptial agreements: it shouldn’t just be all about money and finances (or sex as in this case).  Prenups should also lay out the rules of engagement (fighting) if children are a product of the marriage.  Couples should ask themselves: How will we handle the divorce if we have children?  How will we divide custody?  How can we agree to behave so the impact on our children is as minimal as possible?  I hope this gives good food for thought.

Best of Luck,

Ms. M.

______________________________________________________________________________________

Hello Ms. M!

I am a 26 year old woman that has never had an orgasm by intercourse.  I’ve had 10 partners, long, average, fat, short, and none have ever been able to make me climax.  I recently purchased a vibrator and used it while having intercourse with my boyfriend. What I felt was nothing I’d ever felt before but in conclusion I did not orgasm.  I don’t know if I was thinking too much or what went wrong but I need some advice HELP!

-D.S.

Hi D.S.,

Just to clarify, have you ever had an orgasm from masturbating?  Answer me this, and then we can take it from there.

Thank you for responding!  To be quite honest I hardly ever masturbate, but when I do I never orgasm.  I’ve never had an orgasm, from any type of stimulation.

Dear D.S.,

I receive emails similar to yours every week from women of all ages, which should tell you – you’re not alone!  Odds are, you’re not going to have an orgasm with a partner if you haven’t had one solo.  I have a few suggestions you can try to put into practice during masturbation.  I say a few because we are all different in every way imaginable, including the infinite variations of our anatomies.  Therefore, what works for you might not work for me, or the next woman. 

For starters, get yourself as relaxed as possible.  Relaxation is imperative because orgasm is an involuntary reflex.  Anxiety, thinking too much, and obsessing over having an orgasm will surely inhibit it.  You want to embrace this experience as a journey of self-discovery and feeling good; if you judge the journey by the destination (orgasm) then the pressure under which you put yourself to get there might be too much.  Try having a glass of wine, a bubble bath, or both.  You could also try deep breathing or meditation.  Be sure to be alone, lock the doors, and turn off your phone, answering machine, or anything else that might be a distraction.

Ignite your brain with erotic thoughts and fantasies.  Maybe these are fantasies you’ll never actually do in real life, maybe they are fantasies you have about someone else.  Whatever they are, thoughts are imperative to reaching orgasm.  Michelangelo once said, “The painter paints with his brain, not his hand.”  Masturbation is very much the same.  Turning the lights off can also help your mind escape, allowing your imagination to take charge.

If fantasizing via your own imagination is too difficult, try watching an erotic movie or porn.  If it’s porn, there are literally hundreds of categories from which to search.  Try sites like xnxx, xhamster, or even the old standard youporn.  It doesn’t have to necessarily be hardcore porn.  It could also be a movie like Fatal Attraction or something with sexual undertones and tempting allure.  Whilst watching, don’t touch yourself … not at first anyway.  See if you can feel yourself becoming aroused.  

My next suggestion would be to masturbate without sticking anything inside of you – at least not initially.  Caress your entire body, not just your genitals.  This will help excite and work up your body to facilitate an easier opportunity for orgasm.  Maybe try using your vibrator on all the surrounding areas of your genitals rather than right on them.  Try working it around the inner thighs, your nipples, and even closer to your anus on the backside of your thighs (there is a very sensitive nerve here).  Try squeezing the vibrator or even just your hand between your thighs.  Rub on and around your pubic arch before heading to the glans of your clitoris.  Many women bring themselves to orgasm with no internal apparatus at all, just pure simple outer clitoral stimulation. For this, check out toys like the Venus Butterfly or the award-winning Jimmy Jane Form 2.  They’re both external toys.

Remember: it’s not simply a vibrator, toy, or partner that will get you there, but the combination of relaxation, titillating thoughts, exciting your entire body, and maneuvering your anatomy just right!  Practice makes perfect, so get to learning your own instrument!

The next time you do have sex with a partner, try using a vibrating cock ring with you on top.

I hope other people out there will share their tips and ideas in the comments section as well! 

Happy Masturbating,

Ms. M.

 

Be sure to follow me, Ms. M., on Facebook and Twitter

Have a question?  Email: AdviceFromMsM@gmail.com

______________________________________________________________________________________

 

  1. Dave June 5, 2012 at 1:34 pm #

    About this anal sex prenup. I think a major source of anxiety for some people going into a monogamous marriage is that they have entered into a contract that states they will never ever have sex with anyone but their spouse ever again. Ever. So each spouse depends on the other to meet their every sexual need. That situation is bound to cause concern and usually causes at least some friction in a marriage. This person obviously loves anal sex and is very worried that his new spouse will let that fade from their relationship or even simply refuse it entirely leaving him to never ever have his favorite sex act again in his life. Since she’s obviously not that into anal she’d hardly notice it being gone and he’d think of it at least ten times a day.

    But putting it in a prenup doesn’t really work for reasons too numerous to go through. They might want to talk more openly about their sexual needs and what their options are if their partner is unable or unwilling to meet them. Clearly someone requiring their partner to give up a form of sex they love is just as wrong as requiring their partner to participate in sex they don’t enjoy. Maybe they need to have the option of some degree of an open marriage. It’s honest, flexible and it’s better than the cheating that most couples resort to..

  2. Kim Newton June 14, 2012 at 7:10 pm #

    Im 29 years old and I have never had an orgasm through sexual intercourse but Ive had one or should I say several through oral sex. So far that is the only way I can have the most amazing orgasm ever. I must be given oral sex (clitoral stimulation) but I would love to see if I can find that one person to give me that through intercourse.

  3. Paula July 18, 2012 at 1:54 am #

    Most women don’t orgasm through penetration alone and this makes sense when you understand that the nerve endings of the clitoris which actually make the orgasm are situated above your vagina. Any woman who can masturbate herself to orgasm can have one during penetrative sex by ensuring she is fully aroused before being penetrated and then USING HER OWN FINGERS OR HAND TO MASSAGE HER UPPER VULVA.

    • Fortuna Veritas July 20, 2012 at 3:51 pm #

      It’s rather sad that such a no-brainer still has to be told to people who get it into their heads that they “should” be able to get off just from having a phallus stuck in there and jiggled around a bit. :/

      • Alluson July 23, 2012 at 5:38 pm #

        It is sad, but new people are born every day, and all of them need to be educated about the clit. Instead of shaking our heads, we need to be more proactive about passing on the information that the in-and-out isn’t what it’s all-a-bout!

        • Richard September 10, 2012 at 1:05 pm #

          Yes, if we spread the word about this, then we defeat ignorance, AND more people get off! Everyone wins!

  4. shesquirts July 18, 2012 at 3:52 pm #

    Although it varies from woman to woman, the tissue of the clitoris extends into the body and may contribute to vaginal orgasms. My experience is that there are at least three kinds of orgasms. Clitoral alone, clitoral/g-spot/urethral/squirting, and g-spot/vaginal. Is there anyone out there who knows what I’m referring to?

    The g-spot/vaginal type happens when I’m really aroused and swollen around my g-spot and then fucking myself hard with a dildo pushes me over the edge without clitoral stimulation. I’ve only SORT of reached that with a penis inside and that is probably mostly due to how you can easily angle toys for optimal stimulation but not so much penises.

    I totally agree with the advice to practice lots of kinds of stimulation, mental, visual, physical. Try smoking some pot that has a known reputation for a body high (indica rather than sativa). Invest in toys: g-spot stimulators, vibrators. See if you do or don’t like vibration inside. You might need a heavy duty vibration like the magic wand can give you. Different frequencies of vibration matter.

    Good luck and enjoy!

  5. C July 19, 2012 at 3:05 am #

    Here’s the nitty gritty:
    Male stimulation and climax – Penis
    Female stimulation and climax – Clitoris. Now, a woman can climax via vaginal intercourse, but it’s usually because her clitoris is being stimulated somehow during vaginal intercourse. The other avenue is a combo of her brain and vaginal stimulation.
    If men would remember that the clitoris is the female version of the penis, then most frustration on the side of the female would be diminished…..

  6. Antoinette July 22, 2012 at 11:02 am #

    I find that tightening your vagina during intercourse, helps you obtain orgasms As well.

Leave a Reply