by melodiousmsmPosted on March 30, 2012
Anyone who believes sex is meant only for reproductive purposes obviously isn’t doing it right. The realization that such an archaic unhealthy belief belongs to an American politician running for president (Rick Santorum) completely stuns me. The Dark Ages ended hundreds of years ago.
Over the past two months, I’ve traveled and spoken at conferences, written letters to Congress, and worked hard to serve as an advocate for women in the United States. I could sit here and go on and on in intellectual and political debate, citing studies, statistics, and proof that free contraception for all women is a great thing for society as a whole. (For the best of, I highly recommend this article by Soraya Chemaly.) However, because I work with people everyday as a sex therapist and relationship coach, I’d like to share somewhat of a different perspective.
Some may call it a culture war – okay, if your culture is antiquated. Some say it’s a war on women – indeed it is. Some call it a war on sex and sexuality – absolutely. But this is more profound than all of those things: This is a war on humanity.
Sex is a part of the human experience. To deny any part of the human experience is to deny humanity’s ultimate goal and purpose: to evolve. Why shouldn’t we be constantly striving to be more empathetic, more intelligent, more advanced, more compassionate, more conscious, and more prepared than the generation that came before us? The attempt to turn back time on all of the progress we’ve made, negates the purpose of our existence – and the lingering debates, proposed bills, wasted time, wasted energy, and fighting that ensues is inefficient and irresponsible.
Religion makes a mockery of spirit – and even the God it claims to represent – when it plays politics. As our forefathers intended, we must all realize and agree that morality cannot be based on any one religion or religious doctrine. It must instead be based on what is in the best interest for the betterment of society. Oppressing women to satisfy the need for power in politics is downright evil. We are here to love and progress, not to judge, shame, and regress.
It doesn’t take a genius to realize how troubled people are in their personal lives, seeking out everything from marriage counseling, relationship coaches, sex therapy, advice, toys, self-help books, etc. Yet some politicians and religious zealots are demonizing sex rather than embracing it as the vital part of human experience it is.
Sex doesn’t have to be merely about physical or emotional connection. Sure it can be novel or fun for sport when the mood strikes. But that’s just the tip of the iceberg to understanding what it truly is. Porn and novel sex are for mere entertainment. Great sex demands empathy and connection.
For the most part, amateurs have sex only to feel good physically and get off. Intermediates have sex to connect both emotionally and physically. But the most advanced and evolved of lovers understand that much like meditation, prayer, yoga, or getting lost in a creative medium (music, writing, art, etc), sex is a way of opening ourselves to a higher life force – a transcendental Zen. It offers us a means to an end, just like prayer or meditation – and those means (sex, prayer, or meditation) do not necessarily have to be mutually exclusive.
If we are open, sex and sexual energy can expand our minds and souls, increase our capacity to love, strengthen our abilities to accept others, increase our sense of empathy, and deepen our self-awareness. Sex of this caliber enables some of the most creative and powerful energy we have within ourselves.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with a woman enjoying sex. Women should feel empowered, exhilarated, connected, at peace, and radiating with love for the world around them after engaging in willful sex – not ashamed, guilty, or worthless.
When will these overzealous politicians stop being afraid of feminine power, and start embracing it like real men – men of Love, of purpose, of compassion? To the extreme and religiously zealous politicians of America, I say this: Give women the equal rights to exercise free will – the same equal rights you have; let your higher power do his job to judge, but relinquish yourselves – and our national politics – of such burden. Who knows … maybe you’ll even get a blowjob.
Have a question or comment? Email me: AdviceFromMsM@gmail.com